Translator Unknown - Upped By RBK Fixed By Pacman
Thank you.
Thank you. Really, you're too kind.
- Kel, you were on fire tonight. - Thanks, Luke.
Look, why don't we go out and celebrate? Get some steaks, maybe a couple of beers.
Luke, I appreciate that you come to every show...
and sometimes don't pass out till I'm offstage...
but I'm just not interested in you romantically.
- I'm sorry. - Well, not yet.
But just wait. I'm like Hurricane Luke.
- Pretty soon I'm gonna blow you over. - Okay.
Hey, guys, what are you doing here? I thought you were flying to Florida tonight.
Our charter airline went bankrupt and all the other flights were booked.
So you decided to give up your spring break vacation to stay here?
Why don't you just drive, Alexa?
Drive what? Daddy took my car, and my wheeled suitcase doesn't have an engine.
But we do know someone with a car, don't we, Kel?
Look, spring break is a total mob scene and all the guys have one thing on their mind.
- I know. Why do you think I'm goin'? - She already bought 23 bikinis.
- How did you swing that? - When my daddy saw all the charges...
- I just told him my therapist's name was Neiman Marcus. - Come with us to Miami.
- We'll lose our entire deposit on the motel. - It's just not my scene.
Oh. But this is?
Is it the beautiful decor or the locals that attract you?
Definitely the locals.
What else are you gonna do with your week off?
Just imagine relaxing on a gorgeous beach.
Sippin' pina coladas with your two best friends.
- And if you don't come- - We'll kill ya.
Okay.
Dude, this year's spring break is gonna rock.
I barely recovered from last year.
Neither have the 400 women who were running off at the mouth about you.
Listen, three clubs want us to promote parties.
I've lined up exclusive use of the hottest deejay, and to top it off...
I planned the ultimate event a whipped cream bikini contest judged...
by none other than the Pennsylvania posse.
- Yes! Yes. Thank you. - Count me out.
I'm lactose intolerant. Besides, on this spring break, there's only one woman on my mind.
Eddie, please tell me you're not gonna spend the entire time visiting your grandmother again.
No. I've been cyber-chatting with this girl for like a year.
We're finally gonna meet on spring break. She's so hot. You should see her web page.
It's really well designed. You click on her head-
I can't imagine being with the same girl for a whole year.
- You can't imagine being with the same girl for a whole day. - That's true.
But then I'm genetically incapable of forming long-term relationships with women.
- Thank you. - That's nothing to be proud of, Brandon.
You think I wanna end up like you?
Unable to function in the real world 'cause you were dumped by some girl.
Stacy didn't dump me. She's just been really busy.
- For over a year? - You don't let your emotions get anywhere near you.
You know what? I like that.
So, what? You don't feel anything?
- If someone stole my car, I'd be devastated. - Definitely. Me too.
- I mean, girls. -Just keep it simple- dinner, chat, cab...
coffee, party, shower, cab.
Sometimes he likes to mix and match.
Coffee in the shower? That's- Oh! Oh, okay.
- We're here. - Finally.
Come on, Lex.
Hello! We can do that later. Let's hit the beach.
- Okay, we're comin'. - Come on!
Y'all ready to party? Then make some noise.
All my girls, are you with me?
All my fellas, are you with me?
- Miami, are you with me? - Hey yourself.
- East Coast, are you with me? - Come on.
West Coast, are you with me? Come on!
Are you with me? Come on.! Are you with me?
Hi.
Okay, guys, this is the game reserve. We are the stag.
- Out there is the babe stag. - The hind.
- What? - Female stag, it's called the hind.
That's where the girls lose interest, man. Too much detail.
It's really hard to believe you don't have a girl.
Maybe I should go back to the hotel room. What if Lizzie E-mails me?
Eddie, think of this as practice time before you meet her.
Besides, relax. You just got here. Check out the scene.
- Yeah, work on your moves. - I don't have any moves.
Take it from the masters. Dude, you wanna pick up chicks, I'll give you the secret.
You want mad phone numbers and make them beg you to keep it?
You'll be heart breakin', better yet, heart bustin'. Just follow me and Justin.
- And here we go. - And soon they'll be lustin' for you.
Oh, my!
- You doing anything later? - Yeah.
Tryin' to get that image out of my head.
Identification, please.
I swear, Officer, I-I was experiencing a temporary psychosis...
brought on by heat and large crowds.
It's like this rare condition known as posterior spasmodica.
- It's very dangerous if you let it go unchecked. - Right.
Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful eyes...
- Officer Cutler? - Thanks.
- Let me give you my number. - Cool.
- See ya. - Wait. This isn't your number.
This is a ticket! Seventy-five bucks. Man!
- I think she likes you, buddy. - Nah. Really?
She does have beautiful eyes.
Dude, yeah, and you got a real beautiful ticket. Come on.
Pool closes at sundown.
There's no smoking, no drinking, no loud music... and no girls.
You know, you remind me of my mother.
She has bigger sideburns.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
It's good to be home!
- This place is a dump. - It beats last year, believe me.
Play our cards right, we won't even spend a minute here.
You think they have a high-speed Internet access?
We're not gonna be here long enough to find out. Come on. Get ready.
Shut up.
What about those guys today?
- They were flaunting it. - The guy with the curly hair was so cute.
- And he was totally checking you out. - No, he wasn't.
- What's that? - A BR&J invitation.
They only throw the hottest set of parties on the East Coast, y'all.
I'm telling you, these boys rule spring break.
Wow. The kings of getting drunk and objectifying women.
- Where can I sign up? - Well, I plan on getting in on the action.
No, Kaya, wear the orange bikini, and, Kelly, please try and unclench...
and have a good time.
I don't clench. I don't.
I believe you.
That girl at the beach was pretty hot, huh?
- Oh, yeah. - You don't even know which one I'm talking about.
- Who cares? They're all hot. - This one's special, man. I'm gonna find her.
Find her? Are you crazy? A: There are a million hot girls here.
B: The rule is no second contact for three days.
Look, we're only here for a week. So three hours is the equivalent of three days.
You show her you're hot for her, you'll end up like cyber boy.
This thing doesn't even have buttons. How am I gonna log on?
What?
So, do you really think he was lookin' at me?
Totally. If he was Superman, he'd have burned a hole in you.
- He's probably just a hound. - There's only one way to find out.
- Let's go look for him. - We're never gonna find him.
- You wanna try? - No. Yes.
We are gonna get into the best parties and meet the hottest guys!
- Hey, gorgeous. - Hi.
You wanna enter a whipped cream bikini contest? I know how you can get in with a judge.
Sure. Um, I just don't know what my boyfriend would say.
Boyfriend? Oh, girl, tell your boyfriend to go take a hike.
Why don't you tell him yourself?
Everyone is welcome.
Justin, you have to put us on the Margarita Madness list.
You know the rules. First come, first serve, unless, of course, you, uh...
have one of these.
-Just show this to the doorman. He'll let you skip the line. - Thanks.
And we'll see you at the bikini contest.
So,you're with BR&J parties? Which letter are you?
I'm the J,'Justin. BR' is Brandon.
So, what does a girl need to do to get one of those bracelets?
Well, it looks like I'm all out.
I got 'em! I got the bracelets!
- Let me go! - Let me in there.!
I got one.
Thank you.
- Hey, give me some bracelets! - Justin, we only need three.!
We only need three more bracelets.!
- Come here often? - Hey, we met at the beach, right?
Yeah. My friends call me Kelly for short.
I'm Justin.
Thanks.
So,Justin, do you spend a lot of time in the girls' room?
- I just needed to make a quick escape. - Me too.
It's total insanity out there. There's even one guy passing out whipped cream bikini flyers.
Is that degrading or what?
We know you're in there. You gotta come out sometime.!
- Friends of yours? - No, not exactly.
Um, look, I need to get out of here.
Okay, I'll let you in on one little secret, but you can't tell anyone I told you.
All right, tell me.
Every girls' bathroom has a secret escape door.
Girl, my hair won't even fit through there.
I'm from Texas. I've seen bigger.
- You sure about this? - Oh, yeah. It won't hurt me a bit.
No, no, slowly! That's gonna leave a mark.
- Are you okay? - Yeah. Luckily, my body broke my fall.
Listen. I know this great burger stand by the open-air stage.
If you weren't doing anything later, maybe you wanna go have a burger or something.
Call me.
Okay.
Excuse me. Are you okay?
I'm fine. I just spilled a little punch all over my favorite outfit.
Here, let me help you. Come on. Sit here.
I'll be right back to fix you right up, okay?
- Stay there. I'm comin'. -
Now, salt and club soda should get any stain out.
Although, I wouldn't know what to do if you accidently spilled salt and club soda.
You're so cute.
I mean, that was cute what you said. You're not cute.
I mean, of course,you're cute, but not in a way that makes me seem easy. I'm-
- I'm-I'm Kaya. - I'm Carlos.
And you're cute, too, but not in a way that makes you seem easy.
It is so nice to finally meet one guy on spring break with manners.
- Thanks, but I'm not really- - Hey, Carlos.!
Get a move on. Tables need clearing.
Hey. I was wondering where you vanished to.
Actually, I bumped into one of your friends earlier today. Is she, uh, around here?
Who, Kelly? Oh, no, baby doll.
She's probably gone home. I mean, she's not exactly party central or anything.
All right, well, look. This is kind of awkward...
but, you know, we had, like, this instant connection.
Yeah. I can't say I didn't notice it.
Well, good, because I was hoping you could give me Kelly's number.
- What? - She gave it to me earlier, but I kind of lost it.
- Wait. You're interested in Kelly? - Yeah.
You're the mayor of spring break and she's one bonnet shy of Amish.
Well, that's the thing. She's not a party girl.
Don't knock 'em till you try 'em.
Just do me a favor. Can you give her my number?
On second thought, you should really call her.
Sweet. Thanks.
My pleasure.
So what? Did you give out your number to every guy in there?
Something like that.
That was quick.
Which one was that one?
No one special.
I can't believe you asked for her friend's number. That is so insulting.
- How is that insulting? - You might as well have said, Dog face, who's your friend?'
- You probably sent her into a spiral of depression. - Come on.
- It's not like she has a problem getting guys. - Why didn't you go for her?
- He liked her friend. - I didn't even notice her friend. Which one was she?
That's where you and I differ.
You only notice what's right in front of your face. This girl was different.
Okay, you take different. I'll take hot.
Hey, gorgeous.
- So that guy hasn't called? - What guy?
- Down, girl. -Just this guy I met at Nikki's.
- Why don't you call him? - I don't have his number.
- You like this guy then? - You can't give up after one day.
- Kelly, I know what your problem is. - Me too.
I have two nosy friends who refuse to mind their own business.
- You don't take any chances. - I say you keep looking for him.
And I say, move on. There are plenty of other fish in the ocean.
And I'm goin' fishin'.
Kelly, you shouldn't have said a word. You know how she can be.
- Kaya, he's not even her type. - You like him, Kel. That makes him her type.
That, and the fact that he's a guy.
Whipped cream bikinis, ladies. Don't be shy.
This is your chance of a lifetime. Make your dreams come true.
And mine as well. Hey.
- Thank you. - You have to come to this. You have to come to this.
- And you can bring your sister too? Are you sisters? - A thousand dollars?
Sorry. Kitchen's closed.
From what I hear, that's a good thing.
I, uh, actually came to see you.
You ran off so quickly before, I didn't get a chance to give you my number.
Uh, look.
You seem like a nice girl, but I think those college guys are more your speed.
Besides, I work all the time.
Oh. Well, you must get one night off.
Okay. I'm free tonight.
- You adventurous? - Me, adventurous?
Heck, yeah. I mean, hell, yeah.
I say hell' all the time. Hell, hell, hell.
Hell.
Okay, I'll meet you up front at 8:00.
Are you sure this is the right place?
Positive. Come on.
It's a little different from the spring break crowd.
How'd you find this place?
It's a local hangout.
- Do you like it? - This is incredible!
Well, have a good time. We're amongst friends.
We're okay.
- Hey, come on. Let's go. - But we just got here.
- No, I mean, come on. Let's dance. It's the rueda. - Oh, no. No, no.
Look into my eyes. You'll be great. Trust me.
Okay.
There you go.
- Bye-bye. - Where are you going?
Hey!
It just doesn't make sense.
No, what doesn't make sense is you're on spring break...
and you're still talking about the one girl who blew you off.
We had a very nice connection in that bathroom.
- Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I said that- - You'd have ten cents.
I remember. You said it twice.
Look,J, I feel your pain. I know what it's like to be blown off.
- No, you don't. - But still, I know what pain feels like.
You remember when I broke my collarbone snowboarding?
- Best way to get over this chick is to move on. - I'm gonna ask her out again.
Go ahead. Send another. Really humiliate yourself.
Come on. What's the worst she can say? No?
Trust me. Being rejected by text is way less humiliating.
Right.
Okay, spill, and I need the details.
Last night was magical. Carlos took me dancing.
- We went walking under the moonlight. - Yawn.
Maybe I should take a chance. So one guy doesn't call.
I gotta keep putting myself out there. Be more like Alexa.
- Are you sure about that? - Her phone's been ringing nonstop.
Mine? Might as well be Fisher-Price.
You wanna have some fun, Kelly?
I know exactly where to find it.
You entered me in a whipped cream bikini contest?
I thought you said you wanted to get out and have a good time.
My idea of a good time is not parading around in some dessert topping.
- It's humiliating and degrading- - And fattenin'.
- Oh, come on. - Ladies and gentlemen-
Oh, look, it's starting. Let's go!
- You ready to whip it? - I'm gonna kill you.
Put me down!
- Let's give a huge welcome to contestant number nine! - What are you doing here?
We're the judges. Now get slathered-
- Point that can in my direction and I will hurt you. - She's saucy. I like.
I'm gonna let my man Justin do the honors.
- You're BR&J parties? - Not all of them.Just the J.'
- You organized this. I can't believe you. - Whipped cream!
- Whipped cream! Whipped cream! - Start believing.
Hey, it's spring break, right?
And what do you wanna see?
- Whipped cream! - Come on. Get wild.
Go crazy. Come on.
- Whipped cream! Whipped cream! - Don't mind if I do.
- Oh, my gosh. - Whipped cream! Whipped cream!
Oh, very funny. Real funny. Hey, check this out?
Whoa! Dude!
Kelly, I am so sorry. I had no idea Justin was involved with that.
- The guy's a jerk. - You know what? I just don't get it.
He seemed so different when I met him. He seemed nice and funny.
Look,Justin just needs someone his own speed, and... you're slower.
Whatever. I'm gonna go back to the hotel.
- Do you want us to come? - No, I'd rather be alone.
Hey, you!
- Who, me? - Yeah, we need a fourth.
Oh, no, I'm meeting someone here.
We met on the Internet in a Xena chat room. She's a big fan, as am I.
Just a quick game. Come on.
- Okay.Just a quick game. - Thanks for helping us out.
- I'm Jeff. - Eddie.
Good, Eddie. You're right there. I'll serve it. Ready?
All right, here we go. Here we go.
- I got it. I got it. - Hit it.! Hit it.!
You all right?
I'm okay.
- What can I get for you? - I'll have the bacon cheeseburger.
- Triple bypass. - I'd get the bypass on the side.
Out of all the places in Miami, do you have to be at this particular one right now?
Actually, it's my favorite place. I was gonna take you here, remember?
- I'll take it to go. - Let me explain, Kelly-
Let me help. You're a player and you come down to spring break...
for these little juvenile parties and spread whipped cream on girls who think you're cute.
Wait. First of all, the whipped cream is a very small part of our business.
Uh, you know what? Good-bye.
Kelly, wait. All the contests, the parties, the hotties...
it's all part of a business I started a long time ago.
- It pays for my books and my housing all year. - Oh.
- So your party guy reputation, that's just a perk. - It used to be.
Look, I know we just met.
What can I do to make it up to you?
You can shave all the hair on your head except for here and here.
- All right. - I'm kidding.
You know what? You should really try the hot sauce.
Oh, I'm sorry. I promise, I'm slightly less dorky than you think.
- So, what do you say? - Napkin!
Right.
You know what'll help you think better? A boat ride.
Smooth.
- So we're still on for the marina at 4:00? - Yes, yes!
But if I see any sign of any nondairy whipped topping, I'm leaving.
You're on.
Still on?
Seven hundred and 50 bucks. Oh, man, I rock!
Officer Cutler, you'll be happy to know the contest was a resounding success.
The music was sedate and the whipped cream was skimpy, but tasteful.
And the beach, it's gonna be wiped clean.
I'm impressed. You followed the law, right down to the event permit.
Event permit?
You know, I should warn you.
It's all dry land and pickup trucks where I'm from.
If it makes you feel better, I can put a gun rack in the back.
Cute.
- You sure you know about boats? - Yeah, sure. I had one when I was a kid.
Plastic, three inches long. Lost in a horrible bath accident.
All right, here we go.
Nice and easy.
- You okay? - Yeah.
How are you with seasickness?
I'm okay for the first ten minutes, but after that, you might wanna step back.
Yeah, thanks for the advice.
Look, there's definitely something going on between us.
You know what I mean?
So, do you bring all your girls out here?
No, I mostly come out here to think.
What are you thinking about now?
I'm thinking about how happy I am that you gave me a second chance.
I am so ready to rueda.
I've been working on this one move. Ready? Uno, dos, tres.
Ay, mommy.
- What do you think? - You sure you're not from Havana?
- Carlos, I need you for the dinner shift. - He can't. He's busy tonight.
- Please. - What's with the girl?
I'll tell you what's with me. You overwork him, treat him like dirt. You don't pay overtime.
Carlos, I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
- Mr. O'Mara- - No, no. Maybe you should take the rest of the night off.
- Thank you. - In fact, take every night off. You're fired.
Mr. O'Mara, wait.
- What just happened? - I am so sorry.
- I wasn't thinking- - Sure you were.
You were thinking about yourself.
- Mr. O'Mara. Mr. O'Mara, wait. - No.
So, thanks for a great day.
I'm even willing to forget how it started.
It's good when some things go wrong, 'cause it makes other things go right.
- Well, that was deep. -
I got it from a fortune cookie.
Well, good night.
Good night.
- So I guess I'll see you at the beach tomorrow. Okay. - Sure.
- Good night. - Good night.
- Brandon! Brandon! Move! - Ow!
I'm friends of the promoters. Brandon, please let me in for free.
No problem. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
See y'all later.
Margarita Madness was the bomb. I made a thousand bucks. Set an all-time record.
Plus, I met a Swedish girl named Inga and I only spilled her drink three times.
- Another record. - Well, I'm off to meet my Internet babe.
Once she sees this bronzed Adonis, she'll know it was worth the wait.
- Whoa, whoa. Got milk? - My skin is not milky. It is alabaster. Thank you.
Plus, I have three hours of prime tanning time before our date.
- Hey, I've been lookin' for you. - Well, you're in luck. Here I am.
You invited my girlfriend last night to your little margarita party...
and your bouncer didn't let me in.
And I don't take rejection too well.
You know, there's a really good explanation for that.
- What is it? - Tell him.
Officer, thank God. I swear, I was being chased by a giant steroid.
He was mean looking and big and-and mean.
How much do I owe?
Bronze me.
Well, I better get going. I'm meeting Justin in an hour at the beach.
Kelly, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I don't know about Justin.
- Why are we friends with her? - I'm just trying to protect Kelly's feelings.
The guy's a party animal. How do you know he's not dating a different girl every night?
I don't. I'm just willing to take that chance.
- You don't have anything in common. - That's what's cool about it.
I appreciate your concern, but you don't know what it's like to connect with someone.
- What is that supposed to mean? - Come on.
You date a billion different guys. You dance on tables.
That's who you are. Just like Kelly's nice.
- Kaya's smart. - And you're...
- A party girl? - Yes, a party girl.
Maybe there's more to me than that.
Yes.
Justin, dude, I know you met this chick, but you gotta hustle.
If you want this business to work, you gotta act professionally at all times.
Pool party at the Paradise.
Hot chicks, ten bucks. Guys, free.' Oh, very professional.
Oh, great, a typo. This is all your fault.
My fault? You're the one who had 'em printed.
- You let me. You know I'm irresponsible. -
I'd love to help, but you know I'm meeting Kelly at the beach.
Great. The copy shop is right on the way.
Change of plans. We're meeting at Pearl. Opposite direction.
- Come on. - Have fun.
- Thanks, dude. - Call me.
Guys, free.
Oh, yeah.
Cool tan, huh?
Ladies.
Ho! See that?
- Okay. What- - Way to go, dude.
What's going on?
Oh, God!
- Is there a Kelly here? -Justin!
- Hey! - Hey, Alexa.
I'm supposed to meet Kelly here. Have you seen her?
Oh. No, I don't know where she is.
She's kind of flaky, but maybe she'll show up later.
In the meantime, why don't you just wait here with me?
All right.
- Still no sign of him? - No.
- He hasn't called either. Did he leave a message at the hotel? - No, ma'am.
I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation.
It better be that he got hit by a car and he's in the hospital on his deathbed.
A priest giving him last rites.
I don't know. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
We're two totally different kinds of people.
- You don't have to be. - What do you mean?
Well, if he's a big party promoter...
then let's get to partyin'.
Okay. All right.
Where is she?
- Worst hotel ever! - Inga!
- This is just a misunderstanding! - You've been seeing my girlfriend!
I'm meeting my Internet girlfriend in two minutes down at the bar.
I only have one layer of skin left! If you come near me, I will jump. I'm not kidding.
- You wanna be tried for murder? - Don't even try to deny it, Brandon!
- I know you've been seein' her! - I'm not Brandon!
- I can't believe she's seein' a guy like you! - What are you tryin' to say?
She goes for fit, good-looking guys. Not dorks!
Okay. Well, maybe it's not about being fit or good-looking.
- Maybe she finds me attractive for my mind, okay? -
- As well as my body. - Why is she doing this to me?
You wanna know the truth? The truth is, this is not about me.
- Okay? This is about your relationship with Inger. - Inga.
Inga. Right. I mean, if she was happy with you...
why would she be having an affair with anyone, let alone me, the dork?
And you coming here to kill me is not gonna solve anything, okay?
All you'll have is a dead, red dork.
You're right.
Thank you?
You wanna have a drink and talk some more?
Yeah. Sure, sure.
Sounds great.
You know this won't go any further than friendship, right?
Yeah, yeah. You know that.
Here you go.
I just don't understand why Kelly's blowin' me off.
Are we still talkin' about her?
Look, Justin, I'm gonna level with you, darlin'.
You need to date someone a little more wild. That's who you are.
- That's just my reputation. - Exactly.
You're a party guy and you need a party girl, just like a president needs a first lady.
- Look, what I'm tryin' to say is I'm not like that anymore. - Oh, please!
Don't give me some speech about how you've changed and grown up and discovered true love...
because underneath I know you're just lookin' for a really good time.
I am. My idea of having a good time is being with Kelly.
I gotta go.
So she hasn't mentioned her boyfriend back at home?
What?
She does this all the time with guys, Justin.
- You're lying. - Am I?
I just don't want you to get hurt.
I don't believe you.
Well, don't say I didn't warn you.
Lightweight.
God, how could you curse me with a perfect body...
and the gift of persuasion?
Hey. It's Alexa.
Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor.
Yeah. How soon can you get down here?
She always says I take her for granted.
- You gotta start paying attention to her. - Buy her flowers. Right.
Not just that. You have to listen to what she says.
- But I'm not interested in what she says. - Okay. Bottom line, Greg.
- Do you love her? - Well, yeah. I guess. I mean-
The thought of her being with anybody else, man, that just makes me- makes me crazy.
Okay. Good, good. You love her.
That's good. That's good. Now- Now- Now, you just have to fight for her. Heh!
- Emotionally, I mean. - Yeah. You are right.
- I'm right, I'm right. - I can't believe I'm sittin' here...
- havin' a drink with the guy who is datin' my girlfriend. - Sunburn. Sunburn.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on. You'll all get a chance to party BR&J style.
- Dude, dude! MTV just showed up, man! - Thank you!
Now I can say with complete certainty that I rule.
- Should we give 'em a discount on the entrance fee? - Uh, no.
Don't you dare try to text her again. She'll sense you're desperate.
- Dude, I am desperate. - Welcome to the world of women, my damaged friend.
You text, Eddie E-mails. How about a little face-to-face action?
Make up for all your losses in one party-filled fiesta.
- Y'all give discounts to friends of the promoters? - 'Cause I'm ready to party.
Hey, hey!
- Luke! - Who's he?
- Her boyfriend. - So you do have a boyfriend.
- He is not my boyfriend! - Then why was he kissing you?
- Why don't you back off, Sideshow Bob? - What did you call me?
- You wanna take this outside? - What is he doing here?
- We are outside, Tex. - Okay, okay. Everybody calm down. Nobody wants to fight.
- Oh, bring it! - All right, all right! Look.
There's gotta be a fair yet profitable way to settle this.
Okay, hover dudes, these are the rules.
You line up at the starting points. When the whistle blows, you begin your passes.
You must toss your beanbags into the other hovercraft.
After five passes, both crafts return to the starting points.
The one with the fewest of the other team's beanbags is the winner. You got it?
- Luke, you don't have to do this! - Relax, sugar. I know what I'm doin'.
It's just like ridin' a bull, 'cept on sand...
and in the water and then back on sand again.
- Can you beat this clown? - Dude, of course.
The odds on Justin are two to one, Luke pays ten to one...
and of course, I get a 20% handling fee.
You guys ready?
Riders, ready?
Hover dudes, go!
- Go! - Whaddya got?
Luke! Yeah!
Yes! Go, J!
Help him.! Help him.!
Luke!
Luke, can you hear me?
You're gonna be okay, Luke.
I take it gambling on hovercrafts- not so legal.
No. Not so legal.
- Hey. - Hey. So are you okay?
- Yeah. I got five stitches, but it ought to heal right up. - Good.
- Now, what are you doin' here? - Well, Lex called and told me you needed me.
Alexa? Look, I'm not sure what she was thinking, but, Luke, you and I are just friends.
Can't we be the kind of friends that go on dates together and, you know, mess around?
I was thinking more the sister-brother-type friendship.
So this isn't gonna work?
No.
- You sure know how to hurt a guy when he's down. - Luke, it's five stitches.
It still hurts!
Hi.
The guys at Nikki Beach said you might be here.
You got a new job. That's cool.
Yeah.
Five and a quarter an hour, scraping beans off plates and filling urinals with ice.
I'm livin' the dream.
Look, I just wanted to apologize.
- I feel terrible about what happened. - You do?
Yes, I do. I thought we liked each other.
Look, Kaya. We both know what this is. It's a spring-break fling.
You know, in a couple days you'll go home back to your friends...
and tell 'em all your wild stories.
You'll tell 'em about the guy you picked up, except you won't even remember his name.
- But- - But some of us are home, and guess what?
We want more outta life too. We need our jobs!
So why don't you just do us all a favor and stay out of our lives?
Come to the biggest, baddest, wildest spring-break party. Please come.
It's only five bucks admission. I need the money, and I'm not afraid to beg.
Please. Come.
It's your last chance to party until next year.
Hey.
Hey. Thanks for comin', Alexa.
My pleasure.
We need to talk about Kelly. How do I win her back?
- You can't. - What?
-Just forget about her. - I don't understand.
I mean, move on. What has Kelly offered to you?
Nothing but lies and heartbreak. I mean, you deserve more than that- a lot more.
Someone like me.
Look, Alexa, I appreciate that, but I think you're getting the wrong idea.
Justin, I'm here for you. All of me.
Alexa! What are you doing?
You're making a huge mistake, Justin.
Well, add it to my scoreboard.
Do you know how many guys would kill to be in your position?
You think Kelly has what I have?
Carlos, what are you doin' here?
I came to apologize for everything.
You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who should've minded my own business.
Okay then. Go ahead.
You're right.
I should've stood up for myself long ago.
You know, I just had all this building frustration, and- and I took it all out on you.
Let me make it up to you.
How would you like to join me for an eight-course dinner at a five-star restaurant?
Carlos, you don't have to take me someplace expensive to impress me.
I know, I know. Are you adventurous?
Close your eyes. The adventure starts.
- I can't see. - Come on. Hold on, hold on.
Turn this way. It starts right now.
You did this for me?
This is incredible.
You deserve incredible.
- Shall we? - When did you have time to do this?
Hey. There you are. Wanna get somethin' to eat? I'm starvin'.
Yeah. I imagine stabbing one of your best friends in the back does take a lot out of you.
- What are you talkin' about? - Alexa, first of all, why did you invite Luke here?
Okay. I invited Luke here because I thought you were getting in too deep with Justin.
Alexa, I saw you with Justin today.
All right. I didn't want to have to tell you this, but...
- But what? -Justin called me.
He said he needed to see me. He said it was important and not to tell you.
And then he said the only reason he was seeing you was to get close to me.
I told him I was your best friend and I'd never betray you, and-
and that's when he tried to kiss me.
I didn't want to tell you. I thought we'd all be gone tomorrow...
and nobody would know about it.
Kelly, I'm so sorry.
Wow.
Exactly. Wow.
I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
You know, at least you found out one thing.
He's no good for you, Kelly.
Excuse me. Are you Lizzie from the Internet?
Okay.
Excuse me.
Did we meet on-line?
Kelly!
Hey!
Kelly.!
Sorry, dude.
Kelly! Uuh! Sorry.
Kelly! Wait! Come on. Where are you going? We need to talk.
- I have nothing to say to you. - Why are you being like this?
- What am I supposed to be like after what you've done? - I haven't done anything.
Alexa told me everything, Justin. She told me what you did.
What I did?
You came on to her! Or should I reenact it for you?
It's probably the same little show you put on for me, except without a boat.
I should've believed what everybody said about you in the first place.
I meant everything I said. And I didn't come on to her. She came on to me.
- Really? Why would she do that? - To break us up, Kelly!
Listen, if anybody's gonna be mad around here, it should be me.
You've been hot and cold. First you're blowing me off, and then you're leaving these messages.
- What- What messages? - What messages?
That's exactly what I'm talking about. And you accuse me of being a player.
Well, you're the one playing games with me, Kelly.
You know what? Game over.
Hey, I'm going for refills. You want something to drink?
- I'll have one. - Okay. Thank you.
- You okay? - Yeah.
No.
- Let's head back to the hotel. - Oh, Lex. Your phone.
Come on, y'all. Let's go.
- What'd you do? - Nothin'!
How could you do this to me?
I don't know.
Kel, it's easy for you.
I mean, you get people to see who you really are, and I- I've always been jealous.
I know I shouldn't. I mean, we've been friends since forever, but...
Kaya had a guy and you had Justin.
I just felt like Miss Runner-up.
You have to believe I did not mean to hurt you. I promise. I just-
I just thought if I could get Justin to like me, then...
maybe I can be as good as you.
You're nothing like me, Alexa.
I would never do that to a friend.
All right. Here we go.
- Let's go. - We just got here.
- Let's just go. - Did I miss something? What?
- Come on. - Kaya.
- Come here often? -Justin!
I thought you were leaving.
I was. Actually, I was on my way to the airport.
- What stopped you? - I did.
Don't you think you've interfered enough?
Kelly, I told Justin the truth about everything I did.
I tried my hardest to keep y'all apart. You just kept gettin' back together...
and I'm the queen of conniving.
It's fate. You two belong together.
So now, in the entire universe...
we're in the same exact place at the same exact time...
- feeling the same exact way about each other, right? - Yes.
So how can you say it's not fate?
- Dumb luck. -
Whatever it is, it feels great.
Did you see how this worked out? I just needed one final push, one last hurrah.
Go out with a bang and not a whimper. Word up.
- You remembered to pay for the food and drinks, right? - Oh, yeah.
- And the deejay? - Oh, yeah.
- And of course, I get half. - And I'm left with exactly...
one dollar.
Hey, Greg. How'd it go with your girlfriend? Did you take my advice?
- We broke up. - What?
She just wanted to have fun- partying, drinking, clubbing. I wanted a real commitment.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm sure you'll find that special someone.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
I don't mean to eavesdrop, but that was really nice.
Oh. Yeah, well, you know, I'm kinda like a romance guru.
You probably don't want to hear my sob story, but I spent the entire spring break...
looking for this guy I met on the Internet.
Hot2trot@markmail.com?
All4captainpicard@deeplife.com?
Put your hands in the air and step away from the pina colada.
What is it this time? I haven't broken anything. I have a permit.
What do you want with me? For the love of God, I only have one... dollar.
- Actually, all I wanted was a drink. - Whoa, you're gorgeous.
And I'm off duty.
So, you still have those handcuffs?
Look, I know this whole thing is not your scene, but we don't have to stay the whole time.
- Yo, wait. You have yet to experience spring break. - What are you talking about?
- Now you get to party with me. - Oh, well, let's get to partyin'.
Well, let's go!
So you promise you'll come out to Texas?
Even if I have to take a hovercraft to get there, baby.
Oh, come on, you two. Quit bein' all gushy. It's spring break. Let's party. Whoo!
BR&J in the house.
And this is how we do it.
This is how we do it to it.
Come on. Let's party!
- Party over here! - Party over here!
- Yo, baby.! - Come on.!
Translator Unknown - Upped By RBK Fixed By Pacman